Buying a bed for normal people is generally a straightforward thing. There is, perhaps, some research to do, then the actual purchase. For us, however, not so much. For us, nothing is ever straightforward. This was no different.
For the past year, we have been planning the purchase of a new bed. The first and most serious reason it took so long was that we couldn't agree on the 'Pillow Top'/non 'Pillow-Top' issue. I hate a mushy bed, but I do like some cushion. Bobby is strictly a firm bed guy. We agreed on the Temperpedic, but I wanted the thick, lush 4 inch pillow top. And on and on. Finally, we saw a commercial for a bed that bragged all the same traits as the Temperpedic, but made with gel capsules, it promised a cooler sleep. COOLER. Hmmm. We hadn't even thought about sweating in our sleep, but alas, upon further research, it was confirmed, we would sweat in the Temperpedic bed. So, finally we priced the Novaform, and bought the bed.
It is here that I must tell you this queen sized bed is vacuum packed into a 4x2.5x2 box which weighs about 100 pounds.
We got it into the Jeep with little problem, and took it home. We knew it would be several days before we could sleep on it, so the plan was to open the box and let the bed 'recover' in my walk in closet. Yes. A plan.
The box comes on wheels. With a handle. I wanted to carry it up the steps like the trained household mover that I have been for much of my adult life, with the boys help. Bobby, however, disagreed. Considering he is blind, has a bad back, cancer and other things, I decided to listen to him, and schlep it step by step up the curling stairwell on a moving pad. The fact that the stairs curve was helpful, because when it slipped (twice) it didn't go far. Once I was upstairs, my coach was already shouting: "Read the instructions, AND NOT THE QUICK SET-UP ONES!!" And so I did, but it became immediately clear that my closet wouldn't work, so we did it in the spare bedroom. Well, my coach shouted, and I did it. I cut it out of the box, as directed by the photos, then tore open the vacuum packed bag that had it smushed to one tenth of its actual size. It is here that it got ugly. The bed does expand, however, it is not a gradual thing. I opened the bag and nearly instantly became trapped underneath it. So Coach started to scream, "You never listen! You are ruining my BED!!" Calmly, I implored him. "Bob, please lift the bottom of this mattress, so I can get out from under it."
"If you listened to me you wouldn't be stuck. If you screw this up I will be pissed!" He shouted. With this I tried, unsuccessfully, to get myself out from under the gel capsule filled mattress. "Stop moving!" Bobby screamed again, "It needs to lay flat to fully recover. If you keep moving it will not be able to recover."
"I am stuck." I said, simply. "Please Help me get out."
"Well, you should have listened to me," He said again. At this point, I must point out that I DID listen to him, in part because he is impossible to ignore. He still made no move to lift the bed, which now had be trapped between the wall and floor. "Its BENT Cille. IT'S BENT!!"
"Bob, if you help me get out from under it, it will be straight, I cannot get out from under it by myself, just grab the mattress pad, already."
"Well, what have you learned from this?" He said, hands on hips. Well, it looked like his hands were on his hips, but from my vantage point, anything was possible.
Now it was MY turn to scream. "BOB, HELP ME!"
"You should have listened. You never listen."
"I KNOW, Bob, I KNOW, just help me get out." Now I should point out, that at this point, Sandy (our yellow lab puppy) decided to come and check out what the hub-bub was all about. Oh, and try out the new Mattress. So now, Sandy was assisting, by laying on top on the mattress as it lay on top of me. "SANDY!" I screamed. "BOB! Get her off the mattress."
"SANDY! You are going to ruin my mattress!!!" He yelled at the dog. "LUCILLE, I TOLD YOU! THE MATTRESS NEEDS TIME TO RECOVER!"
"Bob! Damn it!" By now, I had turned myself over under the mattress and was crawling out from the mattress.
"The Mattress is bending! You can't do that!"He screamed. I got out from under it, crawling, and freed myself. "You should have listened to me." He said, for the nine millionth time. "But now, we need to make sure nothing else happens to the mattress. Cover it up, so the cat doesn't climb on it. The mattress needs to recover."
Unfortunately, I had to recover on the old mattress.
